You were right there
by hakuzai
Summary: Would Naruto be all happy when Sasuke finally returns to Konoha, after all the pain he had gone through? As time goes by, people change, and there's only regret left in the absence of someone so dear to you.
1. Chapter 1

It has been a week, since all the wars have ended in the great five nations. Even though it may be a temporary, everyone seemed to enjoy the peace. And in the Konohagakure, too, festivals went on, greeting someone who had returned to his home, his apologies accepted, and the long history of controversies solved.

In the middle of street where everyone was enjoying the festival, a group of young people stood, chatting in excited mood.

"Everyone seems to greet you, Sasuke!"

"You should be thankful that villagers actually understood that you were just a pawn for Madara. Otherwise, you could've got killed when Lady Tsunade allowed you to come back here."

"Sheesh, Shikamaru, we're trying to welcome Sasuke, not blame him for things!"

"Hm, whatever... By the way..."

As the crowd began to grow louder, the one of them spoke as he drew others' attention. It was Sasuke, who returned to his home after all the harsh memories as rogue shinobi. He was also the reason why the villagers were celebrating; as the last survivor of Uchiha clan, he promised to rebuild his clan, following his dead brother, Itachi's will.

"What is it, Sasuke?"

Sakura and Ino answered at the same time, so eager to answer his question before the other one does.

"Where's Naruto?"

Suddenly, the crowd fell dead silent. People exchanged quick and worried glances. Sasuke waited for answer, as he felt something was wrong. Naruto was always chasing him, to bring him back to this village, to bring everything back to how it was when they were all in cell 7. But now, after he managed to defeat Madara, who was behind all the troubles, he was nowhere to be seen. The last time Sasuke saw Naruto was when they both left hospital. As they walked together, they just exchanged few words; mostly about how it was good to be back. Then, they went on separate path as they went back home. The last thing he saw, was Naruto's smile. So bright like usual, but too bright as if there was something hidden behind it.

"Um... Naruto is..."

"You'd better tell me the truth."

Sakura looked away, and Ino just mumbled few words. Others seemed to avoid the topic as well. Then, Shikamaru started speaking, his voice quite serious.

"He's been outside of the village ever since he left the hospital. We tried to bring him back, but he's... I don't know. He's changed somehow. Why don't you go talk to him, since he won't listen to us."

"Outside, huh..."

Sasuke slowly turned around and started walking toward the path that led to the forest surrounding the village. His face were as rigid as usual, but as he passed Ichiraku, his lips curled slightly. He knew that Naruto loved that restaurant. Thinking back how he would smile and dance in joy when someone treated ramen there, Sasuke thought he would go there with him as well some day. After all, Naruto was the one who guided him back to his place.

"Sigh... What kind of idiot was I, lying to myself."

As he walked out of the village and started to search for bright blind in the forest, he brought back memories from the past. How he waited for Naruto to come looking for him, the happiness whenever he saw Naruto getting stronger only to bring him back, and anger when he realized that he actually wanted to go back with him without avenging Konoha for the bloody history of Uchiha. But now, since everything was back to what it's supposed to be, Sasuke wanted to enjoy peace. Perhaps, with him...

Time went flying by, and it was already sunset when Sasuke caught a glimpse of blond hair in the forest. He silently approached until he jumped right on the branch that Naruto was sitting.

"Hey, what are you doing here, while everyone's seeking their hero?"

"Ah... It's you... Sasuke."

"...What's the matter, looking so depressed unlike you."

Blank face of Naruto, it's something that Sasuke least expected to see. Naruto he knew, was someone who just can't hide his feeling, let alone being depressed. Naruto just laughed silently. His voice was down, as if he hasn't spoken in few days.

"Just... thinking."

"You, thinking? Come up with a better excuse next time."

"Really... I just didn't feel like joining others."

"What's wrong..? I thought you would be the happiest one to have me back here. You were always saying something like that, whenever you met me."

"I know... I was..."

There was silence between them. Sasuke felt that something was seriously wrong. He walked toward Naruto, grabbed his arm, and pulled him. As he was pulled, Naruto stood up, slightly tumbling to gain his balance. He never looked this weak before, Sasuke realized as he supported Naruto's light body.

"Did you even eat when you were staying out here?"

"...Dunno."

"What the heck were you thinking! Just say what your problem is, and snap out of it!"

Sasuke couldn't erase this uneasy feeling. Naruto was actually leaning on him. Naruto, who always wanted to show his strongest side, was helpless right now.

"I... I just thought that... since you're back, I should be happy."

"Yeah, you'd better be."

"And I am happy that you finally settled down..."

"That what's the darn-"

"But I don't know what I have to do now..."

"...What?"

Sasuke grabbed Naruto's shoulder and helped him stand up properly so that he could his face. Naruto was smiling weakly. It was the fake smile that Sasuke never saw.

"I thought I would give up my life to bring you back. It seemed like it's what I was born to do. But since you're back, I've... I've lost a reason to keep going."

"That's stupid! You brought me back, then you're supposed to enjoy spending time with me! That's all you have to do!"

Sasuke yelled furiously, as if he was hoping that this would bring old Naruto back, yelling back at him. But all Naruto did, was just looking down, without any response.

"Look. I'm sorry about all the troubles you've gone through to get me back. I... I really am. And I missed you, too! I was an idiot, leaving you like-"

"You said... that you cut the bond we shared..."

"..! Naruto... I'm... I'm sorry... That's all I can say..."

"I'm not really sure what to believe..."

"...Let's just start all over, please... I don't want to see you like that... I want to see... your smile."

Naruto lifted his glance, meeting Sasuke's black eyes. Pair of blue eyes just stared blankly. Then, he wearily brushed his hands against Sasuke's. Sasuke dropped his hands, with sad face.

"...I don't know if I can take it anymore."

"Naruto..."

"Go... Everyone will be looking for you..."

Naruto leaped down from the branch. He vanished to the darkness that clung heavy around the forest. There, Sasuke stood still, not knowing what to do. His fist clenched fiercely. Naruto's absence... The fact that he's not there, waiting for him... It was too big to accept.

_I should have turned back when I knew that you were there, waiting for me..._


	2. Chapter 2

It was still dark when Sasuke woke up and walked to the veranda. From there, he could see the forest surrounding the village, the place that Naruto turned his back to him. As Sasuke sighed silently, white puffs scattered into cold air. He restlessly bit his lips, looking up the sky. The sky was clear and so beautiful. He could see the stars shining like jewels on deep blue velvet. Yet, he turned around, ignoring the beautiful scenery. Just like how he ignored Naruto's destperate cries...

"What? You must be kidding!"

"No, I wish I was... But... Oh, what are we supposed to do?"

"I'm not believing that until I see it with my own eyes. Sakura, go and tell Lady Tsunade and Kakashi-sensei about it."

Sakura rushed to one direction, her tears falling down to the ground as she ran. Sasuke, with so many emotions tingled together on his face, ran to the other way as fast as he could. The place that he finally stopped, was the old apartment, where Naruto live. Or... used to live.

"Huh? Yeah... I just moved in late last night... but, jeez. First, it was that pink haired girl, and now, it's you. I came from a small town far from here, so I don't know who this Naruto guy is, but-"

"Just shut your mouth and tell me if you know where he went."

"How am I supposed to know? I told you, I'm from- hey, where are ya going? Sheesh..."

Ignoring the man who answered him, Sasuke leaped from the apartment to the building next to it and went on until he reached the huge wall guarding the village. Without hesitating, he jumped over the wall. As he ran without certain destination, his sharingan appeared, searching for the slightest movement, or rather, Naruto's trace.

"That idiot... if he runs away... I guess it's my turn to get him back!"

He hissed in anger, not toward Naruto, but himself. He knew better than anyone, that he is the one who made Naruto suffer. He is the one who took smile away from Naruto's face. Heavy pressure of guiltiness took breath out of Sasuke, but more than that, he felt terrible thinking that he might never see Naruto smile to him. That was what scared him more than anything... the absence of the dearest person when he finally returned to where he is supposed to be.

In his full speed, he almost arrived at the border of fire nation, but he couldn't find any sign of  
Naruto yet. All kinds of worries filled Sasuke's mind, but he was still able to sense two people approaching toward his direction. He prepared for battle just in case, holding his kunai tightly, but familiar sight held him back.

"Hey, you're Sasuke!"

"Temari? And Kankuro, what are you doing, in land of fire?"

"Well, see for yourself."

Kankuro moved his finger, and one of his dolls landed right in front of them. Then, it cracked open, revealing the inside of it. There, Naruto was lying with his body curled up, his face twitched with pain.

"Naruto? What did you do to him?"

"We found him on our way back to sunagakure from amegakure. He has fever, and for some reason, is very low in chakra. We thought it was better to bring him back first."

Sasuke gently pulled Naruto from the marionett, and carried him in his arms. He shot another suspicious glance at Temari and Kankuro, but he turned away for he could feel high fever and panting breathe from his chest.

"I'll take care of him from now. Thanks for bringing him back."

"Sure. We will report it to Gaara, just in case."

As they went on separate path, Sasuke looked down to Naruto. His body still light as feather, his slim face suffering in pain. Sasuke never thought he could see Naruto this ill. He was always energetic, full of chakra to begin with. But just as Temari said, Sasuke could barely sense Naruto's chakra, even though his fever flowed into his chest. Sasuke hurried back to the village, to the hospital.

Sasuke could see some people waiting near the wall. As he got nearer, Sakura and Kakashi ran toward him to see how Naruto was doing. But Sasuke ran past them, and the two could see something was wrong. They all rushed toward the hospital.

"Kakashi-sensei, Sakura... You should know about why Naruto's so sick suddenly, right?"

"I, I don't-"

"So, Naruto didn't tell you guys, huh?"

While Naruto was getting emergency treatment, other three stood outside in the hall way. They could hear all the fuss going on in the room, since there were no one in the hall this late. As Kakashi started out with serious, and somewhat sad tone, Sasuke and Sakura could guess that this wasn't just a matter of being 'sick.'

"Naruto... used too much of nine-tailed fox's chakra, even when he couldn't control it properly. You two saw how he would transform into miniature of nine-tail fox, right?"

"I know that brings damage to his body, so what? It heals him, too!"

Sasuke's angry voice rang across the hall, leaving echos. Sakura, catching a slight hint of what happened gasped. Sasuke stared her angrily, realizing that he was left out when something important was going on. Before he opened his mouth for another yell, Kakashi spoke silently.

"Yes, it's true. But as it continues the circulation of damaging his body and healing it, Naruto's body can't keep up with it."

"So... what in the world happened to him?"

"He... can no longer be shinobi, as unstable and low as his chakra is right now."

"What? You know that his dream was to be a hokage, and how is he supposed to-"

"And the other side effect, sensei..? Don't tell me that's why Lady Tsunade didn't let me treat Naruto..?"

Sakura stopped Sasuke, with tears already falling. Kakashi shook his head slowly, and she let out faint cry and fell on her knees. Sasuke, not knowing what was going on, stared blankly at Kakashi, asking with his questioned glance.

"He's life... shortened greatly. I'm not even sure if he'll be able to survive through... this year."

The hall fell into dead silence. Nothing could be heard, except cold breeze swiftly touching the window. The night sky outside, no longer showed its proud shining stars, but grey clouds full of sorrow.

_Now, I stand here waiting for you... wondering how you could keep up with this unbearable pain..._


	3. Chapter 3

Well, I don't usually write in the weekdays, but I just thought it would be better to finish this quickly.

Especially seeing the review make me feel happy that there are people who enjoy my writings...:)

Thank you so much for the reviews!

And after this, I would probably try to write something happy... 4 stories all about death, is somewhat gloomy, y'know.

But probably not Naruto. I just like tragedies for Naruto.

Well, then, enough with the author's gibberish..

This episode is a bit long, but I still wish you enjoy it:)

* * *

As the thin ray of sun light pierced through the gray sky, Sasuke, who was sitting still on the bench in the hall of the hospital, slightly lifted his head. He could see through the windows that the clouds were brightening up a little, but nothing more than that. It seemed like it would snow very soon. Winter was coming fast, bringing gloomy weather with it. As he looked blankly out silent village, he felt like he was falling into endless pit of deep sorrow and despair. He couldn't believe what he heard last night. No, it was rather that he didn't want to believe it. He never thought that his beautiful blond would disappear from this very earth. Not this soon...

When the clock in the hall struck 8'0 clock, Lady Tsunade came with few nurse, and went into Naruto's room. She startled when she saw Sasuke was there, but just went on without saying anything. Sasuke just stared at the door as noises arose and then settled. They came out of the room, with dark and serious faces. When one of the nurses saw Sasuke, she opened her mouth, trying to say something, but the Tsunade pulled her sleeves, as a sign that something should be kept secret from him. Ignoring their suspicious glances, he spoke with his voice cracking from silent sobbing through the night.

"Can I... go in..?"

"Well... yes, I think it would be okay."

Nurses answered carefully, leaving impression that it wasn't the best idea to visit Naruto. Still, Sasuke slowly stood up, and walked up to the door.

"But, please... don't make him upset. Just... just do whatever he tells you, or I will have to drag you out."

As Tsunade added cautiously, he stopped himself from reaching the door knob. He wasn't sure if Naruto will greet him after what he's been saying last two days. Was he mad at him? Would he ever forgive him? He sighed, feeling that his head was about to blow up with all the concerns about Naruto. He could vaguely see that this pain was what Naruto had gone through.

Then, he thought, all he can do is to beg until Naruto finally forgives him.

The sound of knocking echoed in the hallway. There was no answer, as if telling Sasuke that he wasn't welcomed here. Yet, he gently opened the door, hoping that he could just show Naruto what he feels like now.

In the room painted in pale white color, Naruto sat on the bed, wrapped in same white sheets, which made him look like he was going to fade away right now. He looked like a white lily, ready to drop its petals on the cold, harsh ground.

"Naruto..."

"What do you want."

His voice was cracking like Sasuke's. His eyes were red, as if he was crying until the very moment Sasuke came in. There was uncomfortable silence filling the air. Whenever Sasuke tried to say something, he knew that it wasn't enough to show his emotion. And Naruto just sat there with emotionless face, like a lifeless doll. Finally, Sasuke stepped forward, as he opened his mouth.

"I just wanted to say... that I'm sorry."

"For what..?"

"...Everything you went through, to bring me back-"

"That's the same thing that you told me two days ago."

Sasuke could feel that there was something different in Naruto's voice from two days ago. There was no weakness, but harsh stings, that pierced through Sasuke's heart. It was deliberately added, for some reasons that he was unsure of.

"But I want you to know..."

"Want me to know what? Well, I want 'you' to know that all I've gone through wasn't something that can be compensated by you telling me you're sorry."

"Naruto, I mean it. I wish I could find someway to just show you what I feel like right now!"

"I mean it, too! Do you have slightest idea of how painful I was? Can you even guess I painful I am now, knowing that I'm going to die without even being close to achieving my dream?"

Naruto's voice started to tremble. But he didn't cry. Rather, his blue eyes were filled with anger, disgust, something that was strongly against Sasuke. He clenched his fists, grabbing the white sheets as if he was trying to hold himself still. Sasuke, shocked with pain and woe, stood still with his eyes wide open. And then, Naruto yelled furiously, loud enough to be heard from outside.

"I just wish I haven't brought you back! I wish you were gone!"

The voice echoed, its anger reached deepest part of Sasuke's heart. His lips started to shake, not knowing what to say. Then, the door flung open, and Tsunade marched in. Her face was filled with sadness as well, as she put her arm around Sasuke's shoulder, escorting him outside. Her firm grip meant to comfort his trembling body, but he could barely feel anything. All he could feel was that he was drowning from overflowed sadness.

Tsunade helped Sasuke go all the way back to his house, for he couldn't pull himself unlike him. And now, that she was gone, Sasuke tumbled to get through the door, and fell on his knees, as it could no longer support his body. It felt like the world has gone mad. Everything became so meaningless. His slightest of hope that of going back to what it was like when he was still in cell 7, was fading away, just like Naruto's image in his head.

There, he sat without single movement. His unstable breathe would vary as time went by; sometimes panting like someone was running for long time, and sometimes so quiet that it was barely noticeable. Some time later, with careful knock on the door, Sakura came in with worried look. She bit her lips, trying to stop herself from bursting into tears, and helped Sasuke stand up.

"Lady Tsuande told me to help you... Are you...okay?"

Despite her careful words, there was no answer. Sasuke didn't even seem to notice her. Looking into his blank face, Sakura couldn't help but to silently drop her tears. She laid him down on his bed, and helped him swallow sleeping pill.

"Just... get some rest... You'll be fine. Nothing can be done if you stay like this... Please, Sasuke... pull yourself together..."

As Sakura's weeping started to get louder, Sasuke's eyes closed. In his dream, all was in darkness. And he was there, all by himself.

A week passed by since Sasuke saw Naruto for the last time. He seemed to have recovered from the shock, as he could take care of himself at least. But he just stayed in his house, spending most of his time in his bed, staring at the window. For whole week, the sky was just grey, showing no hint of clearing up. Sakura would drop by, checking how he was doing. But it didn't matter to Sasuke now. Nothing did, until that night, when the first snowflake of the year landed softly on his window.

"Naruto..!"

He jumped out of the bed, rushed to get dressed, and dashed through the door. It was snowing so silently. There was no one out in the street to celebrate the first snow of the season in this late hour. And he ran, without even thinking about what he was doing. As he arrived at the hospital building, he started to slow down, and he was able to think why he ran up here in the middle of night. He knew that Naruto wouldn't greet him, just like the last time. But, he wanted to stay with him, for he knew, that the time was running out.

As he walked through the same empty hallway, he could hear someone murmuring in sad tone. Sound of weeping leaked out from the slightly opened door. He stopped in front of the door, not to eavesdrop, but in shock.

"But you must have seen how he acted! Didn't you see that he was half out of his mind? Naruto, please, don't be so harsh to Sasuke like that!"

"I don't want to do this either! You know how I felt, seeing his face so sad? It wasn't only him who was heartbroken! But I can't just... die, when I know so well, that he will get worse after I'm gone! I have to make him hate me, so that he won't get hurt anymore!"

On top of Sakura's sobbing, Naruto's voice cracked. Sasuke knew without looking into the room. Naruto was crying. He was bursting into tears, just like he made Sasuke do the same. The room was full with sound of people crying. Sasuke stood there, as he dropped his own tears.

_Why are you in such a hurry to leave me..? It just started to snow, but I can't even feel your warmth anymore._


	4. Chapter 4

Sakura mumbled farewell to Naruto as she opened the door. She was still sobbing, but Naruto sounded like he had stopped his tears, though he was stilling panting for his breathlessness. Somehow, it seemed like all the sound merged into the silence, getting calmer every second. As if the people who were involved in this tragedy were getting use to it. Just as if everyone was accepting the fact that another person will soon leave this earth. But Sasuke, quietly landing from the ceiling, could not, and will not accept the disappearance of his beloved one. Catching the last glimpse of Sakura turning around the corner of the hallway, he gently pushed the door, and pushed himself into the silent room.

"Why did you come back Saku-"

"It's me..."

"You... you, didn't hear..."

Naruto's eyes grew large from the shock. Those bright blue eyes, dull from the pain, started to tremble as he knew that Sasuke overheard the conversation. Another plot to save Sasuke, this time from the agonies that he will face, faded meaninglessly, only leaving more pain to deal with. Naruto buried his head between his knees, trying to hide his eyes, swollen from all the crying. But the tears won't stop falling, soaking the white sheets covering him. Sasuke stood still, trying to think of something to say, yet his mind was too unorganized.

"Why... would you still love me? After all these... a jerk like me... you still-"

"How am I supposed to know... I just don't know how to... hate you."

The voice was barely audible, but Sasuke could hear the sincere words. Naruto whispered, as tears poured its way down his cheeks. He could feel that his body was starting to get numb. After all the cracks this body went through, he knew that it can no longer take more crying. He felt dizzy and wanted to just let go of everything so he can finally lie in peace, but the person standing in front of him was the only reason he was holding onto his thin thread of life. Naruto couldn't leave bare to leave him behind, though it may have been their fate.

"Would you believe that... I love you too?"

"...I do know that you love me... and I wish you didn't."

"Because it will hurt more after you are... gone?"

"Yes... I don't want you to be hurt, no matter what. And I hate myself that I have to... leave you all by yourself. I'm so greedy... I want to stay with you... forever. I want you to stay only with me."

"It's not greed... it's love..."

"Then it must be the punishment, for loving someone who I shouldn't have loved..!"

Naruto's hands clenched his own shoulders so hard, his nails could actually rip his tender skin. Sasuke rushed to his side, sitting on the edge of the bed as he gently took Naruto's hands and held ithem tight. They were cold, as if the warmth had died out. Sasuke plled those hands into his chest, and leaned toward his helpless blond.

"But I'm so happy that you love me this much...Even though it might have been a punishment, I enjoyed all that I could do... with you."

"I'm... scared... I don't want to die... I don't want to be alone, neither leave you alone!"

As he yelled out desperately, Naruto tumbled to get on his knees, and hugged Sasuke dearly. Everything from pulse to shiver ran through Sasuke's body as Naruto started weeping again. He could even feel how afraid he was of unjust destiny that laid ahead of them. Sasuke could nothing, for what Naruto had said was true, nonetheless bitter. Facing with death in his age, waiting for the day to leave everything including his love; it was just too harsh for this sweet dear. All Sasuke could do, was to hold him tight, pressing Naturo's head against his shoulder, and whisper softly.

"I may not fully understand how miserable you feel now, and I wish I could take all your burdens. But... since I can't... I want to..."

His deep voice rang ever so sweetly, that Naruto's pale cheek slightly blushed. As he continued with his sentence, Sasuke's whisper turned into chuckle, and Naruto squirmed in his chest, with embarrassment and satisfaction mixed in his face, complaining how he could be so pervy even in this serious moment.

"But really, I want to spend as much time as we can, together... just two of us... And since the doctors can't really do anything about you, I thought I would just kidnap this little crybaby to my house."

"Shut up... You know that... I will have to stay in bed most of the time, don't you..?"

"Just what I want you to do."

"...Pervert."

Looking out at the window, where everything was covered in simple white snow, they sat quietly. There wasn't enough time to be together, laugh, and love, let alone all the moaning. They didn't want to waste single second with meaningless, so they held each other's hands, as they waited for the dawn. Then, after the loud fuss they had to go through with Tsunade, Sasuke pushed the wheelchair, where his beloved blond sat, feeling the fresh breeze, and both of them headed to Sasuke's house.

Time flew by, without the two lovers actually realizing it. Past month, they spent time only by themselves, trying to catch up with what they've missed when they were apart. They were together, just like anyone else who was in love would be. They would wake up with simple kiss on the forehead, have a nice warm brunch, go out to the garden for fresh air and little conversation, and as the darkness befalls, they would start out another night, with hunger for love. Everything seemed perfect. It was what normal life was supposed to be.

"Good morning, Naruto..."

It was one morning, that it stopped snowing after a whole week of blizzard. The sky was clear, and bright sun shone over the town completely covered in white. It was chilly in the room despite the heating system running full time. Sasuke snugged the blond in his chest and gently kissed on his lips.

"It finally stopped snowing... I guess it will be warm soon. Spring is coming fast, this year.

He looked down to Naruto's snowy white face, with little smile on it. Naruto looked ever so beautiful, even more than when he would cry out Sasuke's name, gasping for more as he was connected to Sasuke to the innermost. Calm face of Naruto stayed long in Sasuke's glare. He kissed him once again, this time more firmly, and snugged his face in the silky blond hair. He could smell the sweet scent, and he closed his eyes as he hugged the cold body tightly, tears soaking the bright blond.

"Where have you gone...?"

_If I had another chance, I would have caged you somewhere, so that you cannot run away from me. If I had another chance, I would have chained myself to you, so that I wouldn't lose my way back to you. If I had another chance, I would do anything to bring you to where you stood, waiting for me..._


End file.
